April 20th, 2024

Written by Bec Cameron

How to get yourself out of the hole?

 As much as I am speaking to you, Reader, I am mostly speaking to myself.

To be really real with you…

My life is a mess right now. Everything is fucked and I am miserable pretty much all of the time. I am sick of my own self and my own shit. And my shit really stinks.

I have done years of therapy, I am self aware, I know how energy works, I know how manifestation and gratitude work, I know how good meditation is, exercise is, nature is. I know I know I know!

I am aware that I don’t love myself as much as I should, I am aware that I am killing myself faster than my body is. Painfully aware. Every time I get into a good rhythm something goes wrong and I am also aware that everything I speak continues to be made real but the woo woo crap just needs to fucking park up for a minute.

When I look at the big picture of the things I’ve experienced in my life it’s truly no wonder why I am here right now. And I really hope this is another transformation period that I just have to survive. To come out the other side shitting sprinkles and farting fucking rainbows.

But this is seriously the most brutally fucked up time. Maybe it’s because I am finally safe where I am living, maybe now is when the rest of this shit comes up. The rest of the god damn trauma shit.

Life really loves to fucking drag you to your absolute edges then test how much further you can stretch just before something goes snap, crackle, pop! Over and over again!

The worst part is I’ve been here sooo many times and I always promise myself once I’m out, that this will NEVER happen again.

There are many roads that lead to this path of chronic fatigue, chronic illness, depression, overwhelm, burnout and utter darkness. Every one of those paths that grabbed a hold of you, did not let you go and dragged you here, has been a journey. And for some of you, you encountered multiples paths to get you here.

You keep trying but you just keep failing. This could be the lowest of the low for you. Rock bottom or near it. You haven’t been able to shower, you haven’t changed your bed sheets, you are not making any money, you can’t seem to feed yourself any vegetables, your home is a disordered mess. You don’t feel like you have anyone you can talk to who would understand or simply listen without judging you and there’s no one that can physically come in and help get your life in order. You are alone. Your physical health is terrible, your mental health is terrible, and you are completely burnt out, depressed, suicidal and so so sad.

So…

Where do we start?

How do you set yourself up for success when you are running on empty fumes, barely hanging on to the glimmer of hope flickering in the distance, if there’s even a glimmer. When everything, right now, feels absolutely, utterly, pointless (fucked)?

My advice to you and myself, really is this:

First of all, you have to be willing to keep trying. No point if you’re just not ready yet. If you need to stay where you are, no judgement here. Stay because there’s probably more to learn.

When you are ready… Treat yourself as if you are brand new to the world again. The old go go go way you lived your life for many years is not going to work anymore. Treat yourself as if you don’t remember anything and begin to slowly remind yourself of the most basic things.

Think back to what you’ve enjoyed doing in the past, what makes your body feel good?

Go slower than you think.

One thing at a time and ZERO pressure. ZERO obligations. ZERO promises.

1. Shower.

2. Change your bed sheets when you have the energy.

3. Eat a piece of fruit.

4. Make up some water bottles ready to go.

5. Sit in silence without looking at your phone when you wake up.

6. Stick your head outside and breathe (or take your whole body outside).

That’s it, it can be as basic as that. We need to find something in our lives to excite us, motivate us or inspire us. We have to have a goal and it’s really difficult to find that when you are numb.

My next phase of advice would be to change your self talk.

Get some sticky notes or scraps of paper and write kind things that you can say out loud when you see them.

I literally just did this for myself as I wrote this. We can do it together. Send me your faves!

The fact you read this while you’re feeling so shitty is a win! And the fact I finished this blog off is also a win. It took me a month to the day to finish it - the reality of that is I’ve had 2 days in the past 30 days that I’ve had enough energy to think and write. It’s not my best bit of writing but its done and done is better than perfect at the moment. So I will take that win!

Sending you love.

Hang in there, this shit is fucking wild bro!